Do I Look Fat In This?

One of the most frustrating thing about using the Wii Fit is that you are encouraged to do a “body check” every day, which I do, so you log in every little bump and sneeze and pound of water weight gained.  In a way, it’s good because it keeps you in check in case things begin to slip off track, but at the same time, it does create a sense of obsessing on the numbers.  If you weigh in a couple of pounds heavier at the same time of day, it will ask you what you think the cause of your weight gain is (like you’ve been put into counseling or something) and it’s all incriminating things like “Not exercising,” “Not sleeping enough,” “Not watching calories,” etc.  I always just choose, “I don’t know” and then it goes on to ask you if you want to talk about it and such.  I don’t.  I just want to get on to working out again. 

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Or at least, I think.  Last week was my worst yet in terms of fighting the cravings.  On Saturday, we dropped Nathan at a birthday party which was held at a bowling alley in a town not too terribly far from here.  There’s not much in the town, so Eric and I decided to take the remaining kids to a nice litle historical diner called The Sportsman’s Hall.  I hadn’t eaten anything that morning in anticipation of eating out, so I was absolutely starving, but I knew one thing for sure:  I wanted french fries.  I had a delicious burger and fries between 2-3pm and since I knew they were loaded with calories, I didn’t eat anything else that day.  The following day, yesterday, I felt completely in control for the first time in ages.  I believe I really proved something to myself by going so long without eating.  While it’s not generally recommended to do so when dieting, I think this did me a world of good both in terms of recgonizing my own power over the food addiction, as well as shaking up my metabolism a bit. 

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I honestly had no idea how much this was going to suck; the whole “not quitting” part of the diet and exercise. I can tell quite easily that this is the point in the past where I would have jumped ship. The last two days have been a real challenge, yesterday more than today. I’m hungry. I’m whiney. I’m sad. I’m irritable. It’s really, really stupid, honestly. I don’t know why this affects me so much.

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I still love my Wii Fit, don’t get me wrong.  It’s by far the best exercise incentive and program I have ever, ever used and I will continue to use it.  The competitiveness between family members is a great motivator, as is trying to beat your own records and unlocking new exercises and such.

Still, there are things about it that I find irritating.  For instance, when I do my body check, it says, “THAT’S OBESE!” in this kind of little kid voice that is supposed to be the Wii Fit Balance Board talking.  Of course, my goal is now to find out and hear what it says when you aren’t obese any more.  When you are about to one of the exercises that uses the Balance Board, it will tell you to push the button, wait, and then it will tell you to step on.  When you step on, it says, “Oh” in this helpless little voice like you just crushed its soul by stepping on it.  It kind of fusses at you if you do not do a body test every day.  (Some days, I just don’t want to know).  It freaks out if you gain a little and starts fussing at you about your goal like an old woman.  It will sometimes tell me that I have gained a pound and a half during the course of the work out.

Overall, there is way, way more good than bad and it is work every penny of the $85 I spent on the little sucker.  The family still uses it every day, although I did not work out on Saturday or Sunday.  I worked out extra hard and extra long today to make up for it, focusing mostly on the aerobic part to burn calories.  I did a bit of yoga, but mostly did boxing, running and hula-hooping.  Even though I can’t do more than a turn or two with a real hula hoop, I am the virtual hula hoop mastah! 

I ended up shaky and sweaty, just like I guess I should be after 45 minutes of working out.

Previously, I knew I’d had trouble with the Dance Dance Revolution games in terms of following the arrows and such.  Wii Fit has proven to me that there is actually something wrong with my brain that doesn’t let me follow steps, etc, unless there is a very rhythmic pattern.  I did great on the boxing until they threw in the dodge or duck or whatever it was.  As soon as that hit the pattern, I was done.  I became fully unfunctional.  I can’t do the stepping well, but want to keep doing it because I want to unlock the free step.  I can follow a one two or even a one two three (right left block) pattern or doubling them up (right right, left left, block), but put a fourth in there and everything gets scrambled.  I don’t know if it’s some kind of mild dyslexia or if it’s just my generation not being cut out for video games or what.

I once heard that evolution has taken people in a different direction so that brains literally work different.  People from my generation were more attuned to doing manual labor with their hands and physical work whereas people from later generations have brains that are better suited for doing work electronically from a computer.  Maybe that’s the case.  I’m not broken; I’m just old.  Not sure, but either way, I am not completely certain that it affects my day to day life other than not being able to do the advanced boxing on Wii Fit (*hangs head in shame*).

I did not lose any weight today, so I am still at 261.  I am not going to make my rather aggressive goal of 240 by March 21 at this rate.  I am, however, smaller, as my clothes are fitting much more loosely and I can run up the stairs without pausing, holding the rail or being short of breath at the top.  My rings are also a little looser.  It has only been 2 weeks and less than a week with the Wii Fit, so I am going to give it more time before I get concerned.  I also did trim down my calories slightly to see if that will help.

I don’t know what the longest amount of time is that I have done both exercise and dieting in the past, but I intend to just keep on going.  I can’t imagine it has ever been longer than a month.   I’ve exercised regularly for longer than that and I have dieted for longer than that, but not both together.

We had our ritual last night where we state what we are going to plant in the coming year and open ourselves up to the confirmations and redirects that the Universe has for that plan.  When I started this year’s process, I was doing the weight loss thing only because I literally couldn’t think of another thing to plant.  Now, I was happy to say that it was my passion and that I plan to be under 160 by December 21, 2009.  I can visualize what that will be like and how I will feel after I’m successful.  It feels real.

One of my weight loss gurus, I think it might have been Bob Harper from his book Are You Ready?, said that one of the main reasons people do not lose weight and are unsuccessful with their diet is that they do not get enough sleep.  The past few days, my energy had been almost nothing.  I have been dragging around the house like Rosie the Jetson’s robot after her robot boyfriend, Mac, was deactivated.  After I whined to Eric about it, among other things, he suggested that I just spend the day resting and lolling about, which I did.  Last night, I managed to sleep all the way through the night, which is a rarity any more.  I woke up and guzzled EmergenC before I was even fully conscious. 

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A Rice Krispie treat has around 100 calories and only 22 are from fat!  Woot!  Better than a candy bar (well, calorie wise, anyway)!

Oh the things we learn in trying times.

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By Katrina Rasbold

It’s a mistake I will not make again.  Today was a really rough day.  I did well on the weigh in, which was nice.  I was down 4 pounds to 259.  My hope, of course, is to never see the 260s again.  I do tend to lose more in the first week or two than at any other time.

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So I managed to get through one whole week of exercising and watching carefully what I eat.  Monday is the day I will weigh and see if the numbers are encouraging or best ignored.  Several of you have commented or emailed to me saying that I should not pay too much attention to the scale and instead go by how I feel.  I completely understand the logic of that; however, I know that I am a person who can talk myself into and out of anything.  The scale, to me, is my accountability.  After all these years of being fat, I know for a fact that I cannot trust myself not to lie, cheat or steal in regard to this particular subject.  I’ve talked myself into quitting more times than I could ever hope to count.  If I lost a pound for every time I’ve allowed myself to quit working on losing weight, I would probably have to be working to gain weight. 

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Thank you to everyone for their very loving and supportive emails and comments.  As those of you who have walked it know, this is a tough road.

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You’re right…and I am as sick of writing this as you are of reading it and yet, here we find ourselves again.

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